I’m annoyed with the writer who developed the message that appears on my microwave when it’s finished cooking. The message is: ENJOY YOUR MEAL.

Maybe I’m not cooking a meal – maybe it’s just a snack. Maybe I’m heating up a drink or a small, defenseless animal. Maybe I don’t want to enjoy my meal. Besides – how can an appliance wish enjoyment on anyone? I thought only higher mammals could do that.

On top of all this, it takes an agonizing five seconds to display the message because it has to scroll the letters vertically and can display only about five letters at a time. Five seconds to a normal person is five hours to a tech writer.

If I’d been the tech writer on this job, here’s the message I’d have written:

DONE

Now I’m done with this blog entry.