My mother, who is from Liverpool, recalls regularly visiting the local record shop in the 1950’s, owned by a gentleman named Brian Epstein. Epstein (pictured here, furthest on the left) later went on to manage a rather well-known group called The Beatles. I’m reminded of this rather indirect claim to fame as I just finished watching The Beatles Anthology, a massive 10-hour, 5 DVD disk set, chronicling the history of the only group where everyone can easily name all its members.

The Beatles are again in the news, as their Rock Band game is set to release on September 9, 2009. The game allows players to follow the rise of the band and play along with them. Also, re-mastered versions of all their songs will be released the same day as the game. Ain’t technology grand?

Now, Paperback Writer is one my favourite Beatles songs, if only for the fact it’s not a corny love song. Some may say that most technical writers are simply frustrated authors, which is nonsense. Technical writing can be just as fulfilling a career as fictional writing, with the added bonus of actually getting paid. Also, in both professions, you can just make stuff up to please the reader.

And on that note, I offer my new and improved version of this classic song:

Technical Writer

Dear Mr. or Ms. Reviewer, will you read my doc?
It’s got a twelve page index that really rocks
It’s for an application that you’ll never use
But I need this job, so I wanna be a technical writer,
Technical writer

When you read my guide, you’ll join my many fans
It’s got lots of screenshots and colour diagrams
It’s got overviews and cool multi-step tasks
You see I have no life which is why I have to be a technical writer
Technical writer

It’s got fifty-seven sections, give or take a few,
I’ll be copy-editing more in a week or two.
I can give you PDF, Frame, Word or text,
I can even give you XML
because I’m a senior technical writer,
Technical writer

If you really like it, then please tell my boss
He ain’t a tech writer and he’s really lost
He has no idea what my my job entails
that’s why it’s so much fun to always play the technical writer,
Technical writer

Technical writer, technical writer… (repeat forever)